♡: Birthday

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Recently I turned 23. A fact I wasn't too keen on accepting to say the least - I liked being 22 and really liked the idea of staying 22 for another year but alas, they have not yet discovered a (safe) youth elixir so I had no choice but to turn 23. *le sigh*

What I wanted to share with you today was a little bit of a different post, - 23 things for 23. I have seen this done a bit in the YouTube/Blog world and really liked the idea. This post basically entails things I have learned/achieved in my 23rd year of being on the planet, as well as things I hope to learn/achieve within the year of being 23. I'm not sure how well I explained that but hopefully you are following! As 23 is an uneven number, I have decided to share with you 12 things I have learned/achieved and 11 things I hope to learn/achieve while being 23. I hope you find this interesting and uplifting (though some points may seem otherwise, the vibe is overall a positive one). Feel free to share in the comments some things you have learned, achieved or hope to learn or achieve, whatever age you have turned.

I just thought it would be a nice idea to reflect on what I have learned and achieved this year (as sometimes it can feel like you blurred through the year and can't really remember if you achieved much at all) and setting some goals on what I hope to have learned or achieved by the time my birthday swings around next year (which can take its sweet time, by the way). I have also included some collages of photos taken and memories during the year leading up to my 23rd birthday. It has taken me the best part of a two weeks to put this post together (I have very little free time to actually write at the moment - when you're a waitress at Christmas time majorly long shifts are a thing), as I wanted to make sure it would be interesting, relatable and hopefully helpful in some way to read. The points in the "things I have learned" section can relate to so many areas of life - there are no specifics - I think they are life lessons applicable to just about every situation - from friendships to relationships to work and just life in general.

Happy reading!

12 things I have learned or achieved in my 23rd year of life

1. Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn (*NB - both are positive things). Take each lesson on board and see it as a positive, learning as you go. Never come out of a difficult situation feeling like you've lost, even if you physically have. There is always a lesson learned in every seemingly bad situation, and every apparent loss. Try not to see it as a loss, but rather as a gain of insight and valuable experience and a springboard onto something new rather than associating it with the difficult situation that came beforehand. This is a hard thing to master, but it will bring you so much peace and contentment and any anxiety around the difficult situation will lessen greatly. Sometimes the best things come after the most difficult of situations - you start over and you find you'll that friendships will evolve and grow stronger, and - if you allow yourself - you will develop a whole new ambition, sense of self, drive and outlook on the world.

"There are no endings, only new beginnings."

2. Always continue moving forward, no matter what. Moving forward with your life doesn't mean you forget about things that have happened in the past or that you no longer care about these things, just that sometimes, for your own sake and your own peace of mind, you have to learn to accept what has happened, embrace your life for what it is now and continue living.

"You cannot keep your sights on what is to come if you keep looking in the rear view mirror."

3. Know who your Home Team is. These are the people who will come and rescue you if you get a flat tyre and the ones you call when you have a bad day and you're having a meltdown in your car and you need someone to tell you everything will be okay. Your home team are the people who know all of your flaws and everything about you and love you anyway. They're the "middle-of-the-night no-matter-what" people. Whether these people are friends, family, boyfriends, girlfriends - keep them close and look out for them.

4. Linking to the above point, the middle-of-the-night no-matter-what person, - there is a lot to be said for parked car therapy sessions. I recommend everyone who ever feels sad or overwhelmed or any sort of negative emotion, to sit in a parked car with your best friend or someone on your Home Team and just talk. There's something about it being in a car, where there is no fear of anybody else hearing or seeing you that makes it so therapeutic. Trust me, try it!

5. Let your world revolve around you first. Don't put your happiness or your life on hold for someone else, no matter how hard it is to force yourself not to. Not everyone would do the same for you and that's okay.

"Don't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm"

6. You can't change or control what people say about you or how they treat you, all you can control is how you react to it. React with love and kindness, it cancels out these people. Be selective in your battles, sometimes peace is better than being right.

7. Health is the most important thing, both physical and especially mental. If your body or mind are trying to catch your attention, listen to them and take care of them in whatever way you need to. You have them for life.

"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you."

8. It always seems impossible until it's done. A perfect example of this for me was my final year in college. At first glance it may seem too hard, or even downright impossible. But always look again. I graduated from university this August with a 2:1 degree - something which at many times during the year seemed unattainable. I also passed my driving test (second time lucky) when I was sure I would fail it again. It's all about mind over matter!

"Whether you believe you can or you believe you can't, you're right."

9. It's better to be the one who smiled than the one who didn't smile back.

10. Trust the timing of your life.

11. Do not believe the things you tell yourself late at night. E.g. Telling yourself how much of a failure you are at 3am when you just got home from a 12 hour waitressing shift. It's not true. It's 3am.

12. No good will come from comparing yourself to others and what others are doing. You are different people, your circumstances are different, your lives are different, your goals and what motivates you to achieve are different, and most importantly so are your paths. Focus on you.

11 things I hope to learn/achieve in my year of being 23

13. Get a place on a masters programme - specifically a Marketing one. I graduated in August and decided to take the year out to work and save and figure out what Masters I wanted to pursue. I have decided (after much research) that Marketing is what I would like to pursue and I'm so excited at the prospect of being able to do that as my career.

14. Linked to that, all going well I hope to live in Dublin while doing this -my favourite place in Ireland. There is so much to see and do in the city and I feel like the atmosphere and vibe of the place makes you want to do more. I think there is potential for anyone to do anything there if you go and seek it out.

15. You are not the opinion of others - try not to be so concerned with what others think of you and what you're doing or not doing. Strive to be better for yourself, not for others.

"Do it for you, not for them."

16. The best way to get things done is to simply begin.

17. Sometimes it's the princess that kills the dragon and saves the prince. JUSSAYIN. You don't need saving, thank you very much.

*Beyoncé's Lemonade plays in the background*

18. Believe people's actions and not their words. If someone acts as though they don't care about you, believe them. Words are irrelevant if the actions do not match.

19. Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth.

20. Read more, or rather make time to do so. More broadly - practice being Zen. Take more time out of the rush of everyday life to do something that calms you and takes you away from the busyness every once in a while - it's good for the soul.

21. It's okay to let go of negative people who bring you down more often than they lift you up (mood wise), or people who are "half ass friends" (a Retro Flame term I very much like), whether these negative people are friends, work colleagues, classmates, you name it. You have no responsibility to keep these people close in your life if they are not adding positively to it. Be kind, be nice but let them go, or if that's too difficult, just take a few steps back from them for a while. Distance can help.

22. Travel to at least two places outside of Ireland this year. I LOVE travelling and while this year is primarily about working and saving for my Masters, I hope to find the time and money to squeeze in one or two trips to places that aren't Ireland... on a MAJORLY tight budget of course!

23. Not everyone in their twenties actually know what they're doing. Most people don't, more people are winging it than you think. People are just very good at making it look like and sound like they've got their shizz together when in fact they may not. We're pretty much all in the same boat, we'll get there.

This was a majorly long and rambly post - congratulations if you made it to the end - but I just wanted to make sure I included everything and also explained what I meant in some cases. I hope you enjoyed reading this and it gave you a chance to ponder what you have achieved and learned this year and what you hope to achieve and learn in the year to come. It's always good to reflect, to congratulate yourself on how far you have come (in any big or small way) and to focus your mind on what you want to get out of the next year of your life. It's your year to do whatever you like with. Make it a good one!

Thank you for reading,

Síofra

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