2020 - ♡

As we all make our way through this crazy time, one bonus of self-isolation and social distancing is that we now have time to read those books that we say we never have time for. I find reading so therapeutic at the best of times, and right now it is definitely something we all need, if even just for a little bit of escapism at a time of uncertainty. These are the books I read in January and February this year (I will have another stack to talk about soon as I am also reading my way through this crazy time - a March & April books post is on the horizon).

Expectation - Anna Hope

Expectation tells the story of best friends Hannah, Cate and Lissa - first when they are young, vibrant and inseparable, living together in East London in their own little shared world, each unique and excited for the promise of what is to come for them. The story then fast forwards to ten years on, when their lives are very different and not quite what they expected. They each are trying to find their way through flailing careers, or difficult marriages and their respective dreams, desires and pain, while secretly envying parts of the others' lives.

I really liked the way this book juxtaposed expectation and reality, it was relatable and looked at the highs and lows of friendship and the fact that we cannot ever know what to expect in life, despite our dreams and however we wish our lives to turn out. Parts of the story were a little problematic to me, but overall it was a good, intriguing read.

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine - Gail Honeyman

I cannot explain how much I loved this book or how important I think it is for just about everyone to read.

Eleanor Oliphant is a woman with struggles. Throughout most of the book, we don’t know what exactly these struggles are or what caused them originally, but it is clear her life is different to others, as are her social skills and the way she thinks. Her life is scheduled down to each minute, avoiding human contact as much as possible as she drinks litres of vodka alone in her apartment each weekend and speaks to her abusive Mother on the phone, all of which she thinks is completely normal and the way her life is destined to be.

Eleanor meets Raymond - a new guy in the office - and they form an unlikely friendship, which little by little, without her noticing, starts to rescue Eleanor from her isolation and show her that people do care about her and that she doesn’t have to live with her damage forever. I really liked how the story wasn’t focused around a romantic relationship saving a woman, but a platonic friendship, one which she never thought herself capable of.

This book really tugs at the heart-strings and is in equal parts sad, heart-warming and uplifting, and shows how love heals all - in whatever form that comes.

Swing Time - Zadie Smith

Swing Time is a story of two young girls in West Africa with dreams of becoming dancers. As the story develops, we see that it is an unlikely friendship as the two have very different ideas about the world, morals and concepts of freedom and success, family and their roots, which ultimately causes the friendship to break down as the women reach their early twenties. However, as their lives progress, they continue to cross paths unexpectedly, between London and West Africa.

I found this book quite hard to read as it didn’t really seem to have a plot or a storyline, I kind of found it one big ramble with no real twists or point to certain parts of the story. A lot of it didn’t really add up in terms of why certain things happened or how they made sense to the story or added to the plot in any way. Definitely not a fave.

I Feel Bad About My Neck - Nora Ephron

You may remember in my favourite books of 2019 blog post, that Heartburn by Nora Ephron was in there. As that is one of my all-time favourite books, this one had a lot to live up to, and it did not disappoint.

I absolutely love how Nora Ephron writes, not just her humour and dry wit, but how relatable and candid she is when she writes about the realities of life as a woman and the hilarious ways she describes getting older. This is a brilliant book for anyone of any age, and I imagine becomes increasingly relatable the older you get, and one I can definitely see myself re-reading over the years. She speaks frankly and truthfully - and thus hilariously - about life as a woman and her experiences, from being a White House intern during JFK’s reign, her love affair (from afar) with Bill Clinton, how much she hates her purse and her failed attempts to stop the clock.

There are so many laugh-out-loud moments (which takes a lot for me in a book), but equally moving ones, along with some stellar wisdom and advice. I only wish she lived on to write more amazing books.

Melmoth - Sarah Perry

This was another book that, although had lots to it, didn’t really have a storyline, if that makes sense. It was hard to follow because it had so many different storylines going on at once, but none of them really led to anything substantial.

The premise of the book is that the main character, Helen Franklin, has done something bad a long time ago. She left England and moved to Prague, destined to live a life of despair and never allowing herself anything joyful or good as she felt she didn’t deserve it after what she had done. However, a legend speaks of Melmoth the Witness, a dark figure who travels through the ages with bleeding feet, never dying, and following those whom she believes have done bad things and are destined to join her eternal damnation of timeless solitude. Helen has a feeling she is being watched, and she may just be right.

As I said, I found this hard to follow as it jumped between the characters and their life stories in quite a frantic way, never really coming to a conclusion on any of them. It is a strange story, not necessarily unlikeable, but strange in its telling. Let me know what you thought you if have read it.

A Man Called Ove - Fredrik Backman

I loved this book so much, it was a tie between this and Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine in terms of heart-string pulling, favourite books of this current stack.

Ove is a sad, grumpy old man who has just lost his wife and no longer wants to be alive himself. Those who know him in the neighbourhood think him a bitter, anger, strict and cranky old man. Ove has decided to end his life. However, when a young family move in next door and attempt to be-friend him (which Ove detests), his many attempts to take his own life are foiled - unbeknownst to them - by the people in his neighbourhood.

The book is so moving and hilarious at times, and shows that even though Ove thinks there is no point in him being alive as long as his wife isn’t, he is shown just how much he is needed by each and every person around him - often those who he grumbles about, whom become a circle of friends in a way he least expected. It is such a touching story - one everyone should read - especially at a difficult time like this.

The Year of Magical Thinking - Joan Didion

Although an iconic American writer, I must admit this is the first book by Joan Didion I have read, and it definitely made me want to buy a stack of her books and read them all one after the other.

This book is a true story of Joan’s life after her husband suddenly passes away one night at the kitchen table from a massive and fatal coronary, after coming home from visiting their daughter in hospital, who has gone from pneumonia to septic shock to an induced coma and life support.

Joan’s world is turned upside-down as her husband of 40 years, John, dies and her daughter battles for her life. The book depicts Didion’s journey through this time in the most honest, heart-wrenching way and is a book I would recommend to anyone, especially those who have gone through (or are going through) the loss of a loved one.

It is not a book designed to make you feel “better” per se, but rather one that acknowledges that what you are feeling is completely okay and you are not the only one to have ever felt this way. Grief and loss - while intensely personal - are also a universal experience that we will all go through at some point or another, and this book takes you through the stages that come with that, in the most truthful, raw and honest way. It follows Didion as she attempts to make sense of the weeks and months afterwards, and of death, illness, marriage, sanity and life itself. A must-read.

Let me know if you have read any of these books and what you thought, or if you have added any of these to your list after reading this post. I know most book shops aren't open right now but you can always grab some books in your local supermarket, or order online from Book Depository who are still taking orders and doing deliveries - free worldwide - (I placed an order last night which I am impatiently anticipating).

Thanks for reading as always & stay safe.

S ✗

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Of all the books I read in 2019 - I have done my best to narrow it down and bring you my absolute favourites - books I think you need in your life. Grab a cuppa (it's a long one), here goes.

Normal People - Sally Rooney

Normal People is a gorgeous, not-your-average love story, set in Ireland. It follows the story of Marianne and Connell - an unexpected match - Connell is popular, Marianne is lonely and private, but their paths cross and a undeniable connection grows between the unlikely pair.

The book follows the pair through their years at college where they drift apart and go separate ways, living complex and separate lives, but the universe somehow always manages to bring them back together. Both at different stages needing the other one to save them from themselves, they must make a decision about what they mean to one another.

I am not exaggerating when I say I read this entire book in one sitting, I just didn't want to put it down. Sally Rooney writes amazingly and really brings the characters to life in a way that makes you feel like you know them. It is a beautiful and realistic story of modern love, the complexities that come with it and the reality that it isn't always a fairytale, that life can and does get in the way.

Heartburn - Nora Ephron

I don't know how she does it, but Nora Ephron has somehow managed to write a hilarious, laugh-out-loud and simultaneously heartbreaking re-telling of the break up of a marriage when the protagonist (Rachel) - at 7 months pregnant, not only discovers her husband's infidelity, but the fact that he is in love with this Other Woman.

Rachel writes cookbooks for a living so naturally, turns to food for consolation. The book follows her journey through wanting her husband back, to wanting him dead (preferably along with the Other Woman who has a "neck as long as an arm and a nose as long as a thumb"), to finding healing and peace, weaving in some of her favourite recipes along the way.

This book is heart-warming, relatable, laugh-out-loud funny and full of soul. You feel like Rachel's best friend in the way that you begin to hate her husband and his mistress and simultaneously want to envelop Rachel in a hug and feed her cake and wine and tell her everything is going to be okay. You need this book in your life, especially if you have been through a heartbreak and even if you have not.

This is Going to Hurt - Adam Kay

This book is a true story of the experience the author, Adam Kay, had during his time as a junior doctor as he battled his way through his training. He kept a diary throughout, so the book is in diary format and is side-splittingly funny - another laugh-out-loud read - while at the same managing to highlight and give a first-hand account of the important and poignant issues surrounding the current crisis in the NHS and the various things the dedicated, amazing workers on the front line of the NHS experience every day.

It has moments of joy, pain, compromise and sacrifice and will give you a new outlook and even more respect for those in the health service who - quite literally - hold our lives and the lives of our loved ones in their hands every day.

Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom

This book is also a true story of the author, Mitch, and the effect his college professor, Morrie, (from twenty years ago) had on him. So much so that he vowed to find him again - 20 years on - when he finds himself needing Morrie's worldly advice and invaluable insights into life.

When he reunites with Morrie, it is in the last few months of Morrie's life, as he is dying from Motor Neurone Disease (MND). Knowing this, Mitch vows to visit him every single Tuesday in Morrie's home, just as they used to have a class together every Tuesday in college. In these Tuesday meetings, they rekindle their unique relationship and Morrie - every patient, older and wise - shares with him one final "class," giving him wise and poignant lessons about life and how to live, answering Mitch's questions that have hung over him for years.

I absolutely loved this book and found the lessons Morrie shared with Mitch in the last few months of his life so profound and wise. This book was an especially poignant read for me as just last year my uncle died from MND within 7 weeks of being diagnosed, so it was quite hard to read about the ways in which he would have suffered even more had he lived longer with the disease.

An amazing read, a book I think everyone should have in their arsenal. It's almost like having your own personal Morrie to turn to - re-read in times of trouble or confusion and you may just find the answers you are seeking. In a lot of ways he reminds me of my uncle - he was a joker, a messer and the life and soul of the party, but you knew if you needed something he would have the answer or find a solution.

The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

Another insightful and profound book from Mitch Albom, this book looks at the idea of life after death, and the answers people may seek as to why things happened the way they did, and how certain people - often without realising - had a profound and important impact on their lives, or a connection that - until death - was unknown or unclear.

The book is based around Eddie - a wounded war veteran who now works in an amusement park on the pier fixing the rides - who is involved in a tragic accident at the park on his 83rd birthday, where he dies trying to save a little girl from being hit by a cart falling from one of the rides. We then follow Eddie to the afterlife - heaven - where he meets 5 different people who explain his life to him, the meaning of it all, and how each of them were connected to his life on earth in some way, unbeknownst to him when alive.

Through these five people, these five connections, the book looks back at Eddie's life - from childhood, to his time as a soldier and finally to his older years. Eddie learns about his life in new ways - a life he thought had no meaning - until he learns his connection with these five people that gives him a whole new perspective on his life, only after death.

One Day - David Nicholls

This book starts off on the night of Dexter Mayhew and Emma Morley's graduation in Edinburgh - the 15th of July 1988, St Swinthin's Day - when they meet for the first time. It then follows them through the next 20 years of their lives and of their friendship, on that same day - July 15th - each year. This date ends up being a pivotal date for many momentous events in the lives of Dexter and Emma, both very different from one another. Some years on July 15th they are together, in touch and in each other's lives, other years they couldn't be further apart.

The book reminds me of Normal People in the way that it follows the two main characters through years of their lives, depicting their relationship at different stages. It portrays how what each are doing, and how what they are doing are often wildly different from one another. It looks at how their relationship evolves and changes with each passing year.

I loved this book a lot - it had a lot of laughs and funny moments, but an equal amount of profound, meaningful, moving and relatable moments. Very enjoyable to read.

An American Marriage - Tayari Jones

Celestial and Roy are just settling into married life together when they are cruelly ripped apart by an appalling miscarriage of justice that neither of them could ever have imagined would happen to them. Roy - a black man - is imprisoned for a heinous crime he didn't commit, while on the outside, Celestial struggles to keep it together. The book explores issues of modern love, race and the injustice that still persist now in the 21st century.

Being apart puts a strain on Celestial and Roy's relationship, and the books looks back on their upbringings, goals and the eventual precariousness of their marriage when put to the test by the criminal justice system.

I found this book really interesting and it explored a lot of relevant and varying issues, definitely one I would recommend reading.

A Half Baked Idea - Olivia Potts

I know all of these books are my favourites, but some gave me that feeling of warmth and comfort more than others. This is one of those books.

This book is a true story written by Olivia Potts - a criminal barrister who, in the face of grief after the sudden death of her mother, decides to leave the Bar and train in Le Cordon Bleu on the Diplome de Patisserie. Olivia finds comfort in cooking and baking, and what started as a distraction from grief and her everyday life, became a way of life and of surviving despite all of that.

Throughout the book, Potts offers an array of her favourite recipes (the chocolate banana cake is to die for, I have made it so many times since reading the book, please try it).

This is a heart-warming, profound and insightful memoir on grief, love, coping, healing and making sense of life without someone you never envisioned losing, while also managing to be hilarious - following the trials and tribulations of the challenging world of patisserie.

While you won't find this book in the Self Help section, I think anyone dealing with (or who has dealt with) grief would benefit thoroughly from reading this true, honest and relatable account of life after the death of someone you love.

My Sister The Serial Killer - Oyinkan Braithwaite

Korede's sister Ayoola is beautiful, irresistible, always has a man on her arm, never without a boyfriend. There's just one problem - she kills them all. After the third mess Korede has had to (quite literally) clean up on her sister's behalf, she vows that it will be the last. However, when her sister Ayoola starts dating the doctor where Korede works as a nurse, who Korede has been in love with for as long as she can remember, she feels torn between trying to save him and trying to keep her sister's secret.

This book was an easy read, and quite funny. Nothing too profound but a light read if you need something that isn't quite as heavy as some of the other books on this list.

Too Much and Not the Mood - Durga Chew-Bose

Another one of my top favourite of all the favourites, I found this book so ridiculously relatable, calming and insightful and like a warm blanket and a cup of tea on a rainy Sunday morning. Although the author discusses some serious issues, a lot of how she speaks and thinks reminded me of myself and so I felt like I was reading a book by someone I already wanted to be friends with.

The book is a collection of 14 essays, letters and poetry-like prose about identity, culture and life as Durgha, a creative, describes the inner restlessness she feels that allows her to express herself creatively through her writing. She discusses all topics from the political to the personal, from race the gender and everything in between - the struggles of a young woman's experience of contemporary life.

The language she uses and the way she writes made this book even more enjoyable and I found myself marking lines and quotes and phrases I don't want to forget. She makes even the simplest, smallest and seemingly insignificant of descriptions and pleasures seem extravagant and glorious and profound, it makes me want to have her explain everything to me in that special way that only she can, the way only she sees and observes the world. She turns her assigned vulnerability into strength and art and manages to make connections between things that you would never think of being connected.

Durga Chew-Bose's way of looking at and interpreting the world makes you want to be more like her, to see and experience the world in a more attentive and loving way - to truly experience the world rather than constantly trying to find a meaning for everything. I really adored this book.

Everything I Know About Love - Dolly Alderton

The best way to describe this is like a best friend or older sister reflecting on their life up to the age of 30 and imparting all their worldly knowledge on you, while also making you feel seen, heard and not at all alone in what you have experienced and mistakes or mishaps you may have met with along the way through your 20's.

From bad dates to flat-shares, heartache and hilarity, all set against the warm backdrop of female friendship and how it gets you through just about everything. Every woman should read this, it is both a guide through life and a reassurance that you're not alone.

The author, Dolly Alderton is a journalist and along with journalist Pandora Sykes hosts my favourite podcast of all time - The High Low. Check it out, you will not be sorry.

Trick Mirror - Jia Tolentino

Another book of essays (I am really enjoying these kind of books at the moment) looking intently at many cultural issues the world is experiencing at the moment - from social media and the nightmare that came with the evolving of the internet; how scams became the norm in the American experience; being a woman and a feminist in today's world; weddings and the meaning of marriage in history versus today in popular culture; self-deception; reality TV and more relatable topics as a woman in today's world.

The depth of thought in each essay is so enjoyable to read, she makes no apologies and holds nothing back, which as a female and a writer is so refreshing. The book is enlightening, informative, educational and relatable and is definitely one of the best books I have read when it comes to discussing real-life issues, culture, feminism, politics and the state of the world as it is today. A must-read for everyone.

All at Sea - Decca Aitkenhead

The final book I read in 2019 (literally finished it on the 31st of December) was All at Sea. I had heard this book discussed on my absolute favourite podcast of all time - The High Low - where I get 98% of my book recommendations from, and knew I had to read it.

Decca Aitkenhead is a journalist for The Guardian and is usually writing the story of other people's lives - often interviewing a whole range of famous and interesting people in her work life. But this time, it is her own life she is writing about - to her dismay, considering the subject matter.

This book is heart-wrenching from the get-go, as Decca (this is not a spoiler - it happens in the opening pages and is the basis of the entire book) tells the story of how her husband Tony drowns right before her eyes in a freak accident while saving their son, Jake, who gets in to trouble in the water while the family are on holiday in Jamaica.

The story flashes back to when Decca and Tony first met 10 years beforehand and takes the reader through their story of improbable love, of the difficulties and challenges hurled at their relationship one after the next, somehow expertly dodged and handled, always allowing them to come out stronger.

The story then comes back to the days, weeks and months following the tragedy, and is an honest and heart-breaking insight into the throes of grief and loss, as Decca struggles and battles through life, trying to come to terms with what has happened, while also trying to keep herself and her two sons - Jake and Joe, who at 3 and 5 year's old can barely fathom and process the loss - from falling to pieces. The help from those around her who love and support her is heart-warming, and Decca isn't shy about the fact that these people and their actions are what got her through.

"Death is too much for the mind to register in a matter of minutes; the incalculable magnitude can only be absorbed by increment, day by day."

The aftermath of Tony's death and the subsequent surviving that followed for Decca explores not only love and loss, but issues of race and redemption, privilege and prejudice and a realistic and eye-opening look into what a sudden and tragic death can do to those left behind.

Let me know if you have read any of these books and what you thought of them (or if this post has made you want to read any of them). I hope you love them as much as I did.

Happy reading,

S ✗

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January/February Books 2020

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